She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
