all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
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He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
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Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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