chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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