I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
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I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
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I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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