So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
