Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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