But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
As shirtless as possible
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
