drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
