I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
