I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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