I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
