my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
