What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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