There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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