...so i touched it.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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