Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize