none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
