Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
