He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
