I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
