y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize