the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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