Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
