Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
