grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
