you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
