Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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