I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
you made out with another girl for some wings
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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