Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
