I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
