Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
