Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
