The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
