I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
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