You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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