i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I forgot how hot balto sounded
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
