Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
