he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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