i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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