one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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