I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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