people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
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