I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
