Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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