oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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