U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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