You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
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And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
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barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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