Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
