When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
