Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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