I'm gonna have a badass scar
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
