i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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