Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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