If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
