im drinking this country out of the recession.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
