I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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