If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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