I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
